CAFCASS & Parental Alienation? 5 Top Tips

Parental alienation is very serious. It undermines the very fabric of a child’s emotional well being. But it is complex. The court must assess all of the evidence. Why does the child not want to see the other parent? Is it justifiable? Have they witnessed abuse? Is this creating a distorted sense of loyalty to one parent? Or is the child a pawn in a game? These are just a few of the questions that need to be considered.

As a family lawyer I can say that I have

been on both sides of the fence. Whilst of course the evidence and how you present it is key, a crucial element to any such case is the observations of Cafcass (they are the eyes and ears of the court and will advise the court). Set out below is a tool kit applied by Cafcass as behaviours indicative of alienation.

Typical behaviours exhibited by a child where they have experienced alienating behaviours

·         Actively denigrates and exaggerates flaws of other parent to the child, directly and indirectly e.g. may ask others to do this also.

·         Coaches or instructs the child in what to say to professionals and others about negative experiences of the rejected parent.

·         Refusal to hear positive comments about other parent; quick to discount child’s good times as trivial and unimportant.

·         Overt and covert threats to withdraw love and affection from child unless other parent, and/or siblings that live with the other parent, are rejected.

·         Expresses no concern or empathy that the child is missing out on a previously positive relationship with the other parent. Is disinterested in the impact this may have on their development and identity.

·         Portrays the other parent as dangerous (and this is not justified). False or fabricated allegations of physical abuse, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.

·         Telephone messages, gifts, and communications from the other parent to child are persistently destroyed, ignored, or passed on to the child with disdain.

·         False information repeated to child; distorts history and may make false allegations to professionals and in court proceedings

·         Does not correct child’s rude, defiant behaviour directed toward the other parent but would not permit child to do this with others.

·         Makes the child aware of their own distress and emotional fragility.

Typical behaviours exhibited by a parent from whom the child has been alienated, which may contribute to the dynamic

·         Lacks empathetic connection to the child.

·          Inept pursuit of the child, pushes calls and communications, unannounced appearances at school or activities that the child perceives as embarrassing.

·         Harsh, rigid, and punitive parenting style (uses authoritarian parenting style as the dominant strategy).

·         Loses temper, angry, demanding, intimidating character traits, but not to level of abuse.

·         Outrage at challenge to his/her authority.

·         Self-centred in relation to child.

·         Counter-rejecting behaviour. Passivity or withdrawal in the face of the child’s resistance or rejection of them.

·         Attempts to induce guilt.

What can happen if the court finds there has been alienation?

Parents have a duty to promote the relationship between their child and the separated parent. The consequences of not doing so can be severe. Although a measure of last resort, in the most serious cases it can result in a court order that a child be placed in care whilst they are ‘detoxified’ for onward placement with the parent against whom they have been alienated. In any such case the court is likely to order that the children be appointed a guardian and be represented separately by their own solicitors. Psychological intervention by professionals is normally a staple requirement.

5 Practical Tips from a Family Lawyer

1. Provide ‘shields’ against allegations of alienation. There are various ways of doing this – one of which is to promote the relationship between a child and their other parent and vice versa. Speak to your solicitor about the evidential hurdles you may face in the process.
2. Do not denigrate another parent in the child’s presence or at all. The smallest piece of body language can be significant to a child.
3. Consider ways in which you can overcome obstacles rather than seeing them as a way of not promoting contact eg if you are worried about the other parent having a bad temper, suggest anger management and a phased contact plan whilst this is implemented. Providing it is suggested in a child focused way, it can show that you have thought about all of the child’s needs.
4. Do not exclude the other parent from key decision relating to a child’s education or other significant needs. Keep the other parent updated. Suggest you attend parents evening together. If this is not possible, suggest different appointments. Both parents will almost always have joint parental responsibility. This means that even if a parent is not spending any time with a child they are entitled to be consulted about all major decisions concerning a child. This is a difficult concept with which a parent has to grapple, but it is the law.
5. If you are a victim of parental alienation or if you are being falsely accused, collate evidence and present a child focused case at a very early stage. Experience tells us that delay entrenches matters and is not good for children. Early intervention is crucial.

I am a specialist family lawyer. I have successfully litigated some of the most complex cases involving children and money arising from separated families. Please feel free to send me a private message (mark.hands@irwinmitchell.com)  or leave any comments and I will do my utmost to respond. As ever, all view are my own.